Before I had children, I wasn't complete. I didn't realize how very selfish I was the majority of the time. I think it's hard not to be selfish when all that exists in your world are issues that pertain to you- like what you need to get accomplished, or what lies in your future, or what your favorite flavor of ice cream is (Girl Scout Samoa Ice Cream by Edy's or Dreyer's is mine!).
I never expected having children to be as enriching and self-transforming as it has been. The amount of love that you have for your child is inexplicable. It's a love so great, that you would without hesitation, give your life to spare theirs.
My son Kylan, has an obsession with my hair. Some children may cry for their blankies, or maybe a teddy bear. My son, yes, he cries, "Hair!" I love it. I love that he needs me, and that somehow, he associates safety in my tangled tresses. You can't make up the stuff your children cling to. They develop their own habits, their own fears, and their own personalities. You're obligation is to help guide them and keep them safe.
Getting back to the love you have for your kids- I can't imagine, now that I know what this love feel like, not wanting to find out what that feels like. I don't quite understand the people who select a life void of having children. I'll tell you right now, if you're bothered by someone else's kids, you always will be. I still want to kick some fiesty bullies in the shins when they taunt my baby. I'm sure my kids bother the bejeezus out of other people, but you smile at their rambunctiousness rather than roll your eyes at it when the kids are your own. You also start to understand the tantrums of other people's children a hell of a lot better when your dealing with the tantrums of your own children.
All in all, having children has made me whole. I get it now. It was a learning process, and still is every day as far as being a parent is concerned, but I would never have completely matured, or lost a majority of my selfishness had I not had Kylan and Digby. They are gifts from God, and he has helped show me what true love really is. And my husband is not all that bad either.
I've moved!
12 years ago
2 comments:
Awww.... this is sweet!
Alex is obsessed with my hair too.. sometimes he can't go to sleep unless my head is on his pillow and he's hugging my head and his fingers are all wrapped up in my hiar.. and other times he just wants to sit behind me and play with it and he says "mum, I make your hair boo-tee-fool!"
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