Brutal Honesty Final Gets My Attention

So obviously, I've skipped describing a huge chunk of my life. Like how I screwed up college, or how I ended up in jail more than once, and how I slept with more guys than I'd like to admit (or count). And to be honest, those events are meaty blogs to post for the future. Oddly enough, without all of the terrible, awful, no-good, very bad things that happened to me, or that I brought upon myself, I wouldn't be the loving mama I am today. I was truly blessed to have been a walking disaster because I can now give an accurate account of what happens when someone habitually makes the wrong decisions, and good things don't happen. I eventually started to learn from those experiences, but it wasn't until years later, after I made enough wrong choices to fill a baseball stadium, that I realized I had no audience to perform for. The only one applauding my bad behavior was me.



But someone said the right thing to me, at the right time, to piss me off enough to change my life. It wasn't even anyone who really mattered all that much to me. Her name was Kelly, and she worked with me at a bar. A group of the girls that worked there were talking about work in general, and Kelly blurted out, "Yeah [Misguided Mama], you're definitely a LIFER."

Now, a lifer is someone who ends up doing something for the rest of their days on this planet. Kelly just told me she whole-heartedly believed that I would die sliding a Bud Light down to Bus Driver Ed during happy hour. Although I had been there for four years, and I greatly enjoyed bar tending, Kelly's statement made it clear to me, and everyone else, that I really had no ambition to do anything else. I'm telling you right now, you don't want to be a bartender forever. It's quick money, but you have to be nice to everyone, even when they're rude and demeaning. The lifestyle is draining. I would sleep my days away, work until 3am, then end up drunk at an after hours bar or partying at someone else's house until 4am. Most mornings I'd end up next to someone I knew vaguely, and some mornings next to someone I didn't know at all. Rinse and repeat. This was my life. Not very rewarding to say the least.

I was 26 when Kelly dropped this bomb on me. Hell, she didn't know she said anything wrong, but I'm sure the scowl on my face said it all. I did NOT want to be a lifer. I wanted better things for myself. So the next day, I got myself back into school- a very prestigious community college. Kelly, with her random act of bluntness, helped Reality to fire a signal flare into my realm of vision, and with just enough light to get my attention.